The Elephant vs. the Rider and How to Change

I recently read a book about change that told the story of the elephant versus the rider. The elephant is our emotional side and has great influence over how we think and act. The rider is our rational, reasonable side. Our elephant and rider both need each other, but too often they're mired in conflict. Imagine for a second your rider trying to use reason to control your powerful elephant, who has its own emotional agenda. Probably 9 times out of 10 the elephant is going to win this battle--because often our emotions are the ultimate driver. But what if your rider were able to somehow convince your elephant to do as he/she commands in a way that both work harmoniously together? How would the rider do this? Well, he/she would need to appeal to the elephant's emotion in a way that convinces the elephant to do what's asked. In other words, there would need to be alignment between the rider's reason and the elephant's emotion. This is hard to achieve, but it's ultimately how positive change happens.

Change happens when you're emotionally and intellectually engaged.

Each of us knows, thanks to our internal rider, that we should eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. But too few of us actually live a healthy life because our elephant is constantly in control of our rider. The price we pay for giving into our elephant (emotions) is not only a constantly guilty conscience as we stand in the all-you-can-eat buffet line, but also excess weight, poor self-esteem and, eventually, chronic health problems. There is a great conflict here--the rider says "No!" to that third, fourth or fifth slice of pizza, and yet the elephant is begging for it. Too often we fall victim to the whims of the elephant, even as we know we're doing the wrong thing, and then are mired in guilt as our internal rider scolds us and makes us feel like a failure. It's a seemingly neverending cycle that just flat-out makes us feel like a failure.

Often, it's the dawn of a new year that temporarily motivates our rider, a la the "New Year's Resolution," to tell us to get off our butt, get to the gym and eat salad instead of that fat-slathered Philly cheesesteak hogie we've come to love. And for a while we actually walk the walk and see results. Those jeans fit better, we have more energy and, by golly, a lunchtime salad is indeed good stuff! But over time our elephant grows lazy and we lose emotional engagement in doing what we know is right. The cycle of guilt then restarts and there we are once again falling on the sofa instead of going for a run, and standing in line for that Philly cheesesteak--salad be damned.

Ah, the $60,000 question: How to keep our internal elephant and rider in constant harmony so that we can stay on the right course? That's a question only you can answer by first figuring out what motivates YOU. We're all motivated by different things:

Some people go to the gym and eat salads because they are motivated by the fear of poor health. They might have seen a loved one succumb to a heart attack, stroke or cancer--or struggle with joint problems because of excess weight--and are motivated to NOT let that happen to them by living a healthy life. Fear is a huge motivator.

Others might be motivated by shame/peer pressure. Everyone in their family or circle of friends is skinny and here they are struggling with their over-powering elephant who won't quit nagging them to eat that half-gallon of Ben & Jerry's. Or they may feel shame when they try to fit into their favorite pair of jeans but can't. So they exercise and try to eat right because they want to fit in and avoid shame.

Some are motivated by incentive. We've all met the dude who does 1,000 crunches a day and benches 300 pounds because he wants to be appealing. Making himself look better than the "competition" motivates him to work out and eat his Wheaties. It's as simple as that. Incentive can be virtuous, too. You run every day because you want to finish that marathon and feel the pride of completing 26.2 miles.

Then there are those who are naturally passionate about physical activity and, maybe by sheer luck of the draw, find greater pleasure in a good salad than an artery-clogging plate of fettuccine alfredo. These folks are motivated to work out and eat right just because it's in their nature--it's what makes them tick.

There are other motivators; those are just a few of the more common ones.

Me? I don't really "exercise." I run and race because I love it and I'm hardwired to do it (passion). I do make a conscious effort to eat the right foods, in part because eating right helps me perform and feel better (incentive). I'm also motivated by fear--fear of not having the stamina to finish a race and run somewhat competitively. And so I train hard because I'm scared of the feelings of failure and inadequacy.

I know there are many folks who read my blog who are struggling with their weight and trying to get their rider and elephant to work together. I know this because I get a lot of e-mails from folks asking for advice--e-mails that I feel honored to receive. If you're struggling with your weight and find that that your elephant is dominating your rider--to your own detriment--consider taking a good, hard look at yourself and figure out what motivates YOU. Is it shame? Maybe fear? Incentive? Something else? Figure out what motivates you and then come up with a plan to hold yourself accountable day in and day out. Maybe you can hold yourself accountable by announcing every morning on Facebook that you're going to the gym and then, later in the day, report back on how your workout went. Or you could find a workout and diet partner and hold each other accountable. Journaling also helps people hold themselves accountable.

So, here's your plan:

1. Figure out what motivates you. We're all different. Whereas passion and incentive may motivate me, fear may be your biggest motivator. And that's OK. Allow the fear to motivate you every day and eventually you may find new motivators, like incentive.
2. Hold yourself accountable. Accountability will keep you on track. Very little in life is achieved without accountability.
3. Make the change now. Once you figure out what motivates you and how you can hold yourself accountable, get started and don't delay!

Just remember that true change comes when your rider and elephant act as one and see the benefits of teamwork.

Losing Weight

I read this blog post by Ben Davis, aka "Ben Does Life," and it got me to thinking (always a frightening thing). I'm one of the few who has lost weight and kept it off. A lot of people, including many I know, have lost weight and then, in time, put it all back on, plus some. I recently read that most of the weight gain people experience happens over the holidays--extra pounds that are often never taken off. If you gain two pounds during the holidays every year, over a period of 20 years you're going to gain 40 pounds, especially as your metabolism slows due to inactivity (a process you can reverse) and you lose muscle due to a lack of exercise. If that sounds outrageous, it's not. It happens to many people. Many of the people I knew in high school and college are now fighting their weight. It happened to me and then, at about age 30, I got control.

I don't pretend I'm now immune from ever being over-weight. I'm going to have to keep eating right, exercising regularly and adhering to healthy habits if I'm to maintain my current weight and fitness level.

Lots of people out there are overweight and unhappy and not sure what to do or how to get started. In many cases, they know changes have to be made, but they're either scared of change or unsure of how to go about it.

If there's one nugget of wisdom I've gleaned from my transformation from a 220-pound "big guy" to a lean 168-pound ultra-distance runner with a few wins on my resume, it's this: Whatever you do to try to live a healthier life, make sure it's sustainable. Slimfast isn't sustainable. The Atkins Diet isn't sustainable. Same with NutriSystem and other unsustainable fad diets (though I do kind of like the Paleo Diet). Many of the ridiculous workout machines and programs advertised on TV (including P90X, which I used to like but have since changed my mind about) aren't sustainable and will keep you interested for only a few weeks before burn-out sets in. So what is sustainable? Activities that are natural and enjoyable, such as running, walking, cycling, swimming (warning: swimming increases your appetite!), horse-back riding (my wife's passion), tennis, ciruit training, aerobics (e.g., Zumba, which my sister-in-law loves), etc.

You have to find what you love to do and then make it a permanent part of your life, starting with your daily routine. For me, it's running (and cycling when I have time). I run nearly 4,000 miles a year and I love every step of it, whether it's a training run or a race of 100 miles. I can't remember the last time running was "exercise." For you, the right fit might be daily tennis or laps in the pool. Find what you love and stick with it.

Exercise is only part of achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. Diet and lifestyle play a huge role. Here are a few sustainable changes I made that really made a difference for me:

• In bed by 9:00 PM. If you're a night owl, the temptation to eat in the wee hours is often a killer. If you go to bed at an earlier hour (say, 10 PM), the temptation won't be there.
• Up by 5:00 AM for my run. I have found that as the day goes on and there are more and more distractions, it's harder and harder to find time for my run. I prevent that from happening by running first thing in the morning (and then again at night if I'm training for a big race such as 100-miler). There is no better way to start the day than with exercise. Be sure to exercise for at least 30 minutes and ideally an hour or more.
• Eat whole grains instead of refined carbs (e.g., whole-wheat pasta, whole grain breads and brown rice in lieu of white pasta, white bread and white rice). Note: I do eat lots of carbs to fuel my running, but I try to eat good carbs.
• No more sugary drinks. Ever.
• Less red meat and more lean proteins, including free-range chicken and beef from grass-fed cows (I love a good steak)
• Greater emphasis on vegetarian foods (e.g., garden burgers)
• More organic vegetables and fruits
• Introduction of healthy, gluten-free foods like quinoa
• Pack my own lunch every single day
• Bye-bye to fast food. It's poison and never OK to eat. Moderation is not always the right approach.
• Dine out only occasionally and, when we do, I usually order something healthy like salmon.
• Less TV
• No video games. In time, I believe video games will be shown to be destructive to mind and body. Like the Internet, when you sit down to play a video game time flies and, before you know it, hours have passed that you could have spent being active or doing something productive.

As we can see in Ben's blog, he's working hard to get back to healthier ways after falling off the wagon for a while. This happens to many of us. If it's happening to you, don't wait until tomorrow to get back on the wagon. Don't put it off until "after the holidays," or the new year--convenient excuses. Get back on right now. Make the change this very second and put your heart and soul into it.

Oprah May Have Saved My Life

Here I am with my then-boss, the late
Indiana Governor Frank O'Bannon. I was about
220 lbs. when this photo was taken in 2002.

The year was 1999 and Anne and I lived in Raleigh, North Carolina. I was fresh out of graduate school and working as a branch manager for a document-delivery company in Research Triangle Park--a truly God-awful gig. I remember the day in question. I saw my doctor for a routine physical exam. She checked my blood pressure, pulled some blood, had me stand on the scale and asked me a bunch of questions. I was about 215-220 pounds back then. When the time came for the doctor to tell me about my blood results, little did I realize what I was about to hear.

"Your iron is a bit high--we need to get that down. It's probably from too much red meat. I'd also like to see you lose some weight to get your back in better shape and reduce the discomfort you're living with. Since you mentioned your concern about your weight, here's some information on healthy eating and ways you can help prevent diabetes, heart disease, back pain and other conditions."


Here I am with some of our friends back in Indiana. Can you find me in this photo? I'm the guy in the back row on the far left, holding the beer bottle. I was easily 220  lbs. then.

Well, that's the Reader's Digest version of what she told me.

Like many Americans, I did nothing to heed my doctor's advice.

Fast forward about 4 years to 2003. By then Anne and I lived in Lafayette, Indiana, where she was working toward her small animal medicine residency at Purdue University and I was in politics (another God-awful gig). To put it mildly, we were making a modest living at the time. One night after dinner with some friends Anne suffered a terrible migraine headache that landed us in the ER of our local hospital in the wee hours of the night. When we entered the ER, she was incoherent. The doctor scanned her head to confirm the diagnosis and put her on an IV, which helped her feel better. I had to make a bunch of decisions on her behalf. She was referred to a neurologist for follow-up care. Though we were insured, the medical bills mounted. We paid all of the bills and sacrificed in the process. That seems like a lifetime ago.


50+ pounds lighter and a heck of a lot happier.
I had just won a 100-miler.

A few months later, Anne was at home--she was off-clinics at the time--and watching an episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show." I wasn't there, but the show centered around healthy eating and weight-loss. Oprah had a guest who espoused whole grains and warned of simple sugars. By this time we had made some tweaks to our diet to remove some migraine trigger foods, such as chocolate. But our cupboards and fridge were still full of fattening, sugar-laced foods--some of the very foods Oprah and her guests were warning us not to eat. Things like white rice, white potatoes, white pasta, white bread, sweet tea, and other sugary concoctions. Our freezer was lined with ground beef, pork chops, etc. All of it and more made up the Hornsby kitchen.

When I got home from work that night, Anne dropped the hammer on me. At the time I was easily north of 220 pounds and loving the KFC all-you-can-eat buffet. I was frustrated, too. By that time I was unhappy with my weight and had started running again. I could pretty easily run 4-5 miles and jogged a few times a week, but the weight was still there. Though still quite thin, Anne wasn't happy at all with her weight and was still thinking about her migraine attack. Changes had to be made, she demanded. No more simple sugars! We're going to eat brown rice, whole wheat pasta and whole grain bread. No more brownies and cookies. No more sweet tea! No more weekly pizza binges! (Note: Pizza is STILL our weak spot.) And the red meat needs moderation!

And so began a new life for us. For me, that was 53 pounds and 31 marathons and ultramarathons ago. For Anne, I'm not sure how many pounds ago it was, but today she looks better than ever. Vastly improved health, along with a little inspiration from a friend, Steve, and my father-in-law, Doug, an accomplished marathon walker, allowed me to achieve a dream I'd long had. In October of 2004, I traveled to Columbus, Ohio with Doug and finished the Columbus Marathon in 3:22. I'd wanted to run a marathon since I was 17. It was a dream come true and a new trajectory for my life. By this time I'd joined my first running club and quickly the running community became something of a second family to me.

I look back on those unhealthy years and I can't believe it. At age 25, I was having trouble getting out of my car due to lower-back pain. I wore size 38 pants and a size 46 suit (now size 33 pants and a 40/42 suit). I used to have to wear wide-width shoes. Now I wear regular-width shoes (when you're overweight your feet swell). I really believe that episode of Oprah was the tipping point for us. As soon as we made the changes, the weight came off. When we made more changes, more weight came off. Today, if I pick up two 25-pound dumbbells, it hits me that I was carrying all of that and more at one time in my life. It's no wonder my lower back hurt so badly.

I think I sometimes get really caught up in the next race and my training and let my ego rule my attitude. It's said you should never forget where you came from. I think I often forget what this blog is really about. I started it in 2007 as a guy who had just run his first 100-miler and was so full of love for this sport and the way of life that I wanted to share it with others.

Why am I saying all of this? Yesterday I got another e-mail from an inspired reader looking for a healthier life and a better way. Then I looked through some of this site's "followers" and discovered some incredible stories on their own blogs. Following me are not only fellow ultra runners, but also people who are fighting their weight, making breakthroughs in their personal health, enduring setbacks and wresting with temptation. They're fighting the good fight every day. I know many runners who at one time battled a weight problem or smoked or even faced a frightening diagnosis. One day, for whatever reason, they'd had enough, found an old pair of athletic shoes in their garage and gone for a little run. The rest is history. Many runners have that story to tell.

If you're reading this and unhappy about your health and want to do something about, check your garage or the back of your closet for that old pair of running shoes. Give 'em a go!

The journey toward better health is a difficult one with bumps in the road and a few diversions. The key for all of us is to stay on course and quickly find your way back when you get lost. Don't be hard on yourself; have faith in yourself. Keep at it. Never give up. Always search for better ways. Above all else....

Get 'er done.

2011 Goals / 7 Weight-Loss Tips

Happy new year! It's 2011 and many people (including yours truly) are setting goals for the new year. For me, the big goal for 2011, of course, is to get healthy. I've had a severe bout of plantar fasciitis since July and am only now seeing significant progress in my foot thanks to time off from running, physical therapy, a night splint, and self therapy. An orthotic designed for runners is on the way and I'm feeling optimistic about my foot for the first time in months. If my progress continues and I'm able to be at 100%--or damn close to it--by April, here are some goals for the year:

• Break 2:55 in the marathon. My current PR is 2:58 and since then I've run two 2:59s. I was planning to go for a sub-2:55 at the 2010 Vegas Marathon, but my foot injury dashed those hopes. A spring 2011 marathon PR effort is an outside possibility, but realistically I think my PR push will have to be in December 2011 at either the Vegas or Sacramento marathons.
• Top 20 at the Leadville 100. Entering the Mayqueen aid station (mile 86.5) at the 2010 LT100, I was in the top 25, but altitude sickness landed me in a cot at Mayqueen for 40+ minutes as more than 50 runners passed through. I still got the big buckle and a sub-25-hour finish, but I wasn't and am still not satisfied AT ALL with the result. In 2011, my big goal is to finish top 20 at Leadville.
• Break 4:30 at the Leadville Trail Marathon. This is an ambitious goal as the LT Marathon is one tough race. At the 2010 LT Marathon, I finished with a 4:55, which is a very solid time, but again I wasn't and am still not satisfied with my time. Is a theme emerging?
• Summit all of the Front Range 14'ers. The Front Range 14'ers are Evans, Bierstadt, Greys, Torreys, Long's and, of course, Pikes Peak, which I've already done twice.
• Stay healthy for the whole year. In the last three years, I've suffered injuries that really complicated things. In 2008, it was a patella femoral injury during the Mohican 100 (still finished 4th overall) that required PT and basically cost me 5 weeks of quality running (I still managed a 2:59 at the 2008 Columbus Marathon a few months later). In 2009, after a 131-mile effort at the USA 24-Hour National Championship in Cleveland, I suffered inflammation of the bursa sac behind my left Achilles heel, along with a sore arch and knee. It took me a full two months, including PT, to come back from that injury. And of course this year the story has been plantar fasciitis. With some recovery and cross-training built in in 2011, my plan is to stay healthy the whole year!

***

If your goal in 2011 is to lose weight and get healthy, I'm wishing you success! You can do it! What's stopping you?

I know what it's like to fight with weight and the aches and pains of carrying too many pounds. In 2003, Anne and I made some diet changes in our life together and we've never looked back. We started eating healthier and my weight plummeted. I went from a pudgy 219 pounds to 168 pounds--from a dude many perceived as a "big guy" to a dude many people see as "slim." I went from size 38 pants to size 33, from a size 46 suite to a size 42, from an XL to a large and sometimes medium, from a fat face to a bony face. But best of all, my lower-back pain went away, my confidence improved and success ultimately came my way.

Excess weight is devastating to one's health. Complications and problems from being over-weight or, even worse, obese include back and spine pain, joint problems, diabetes, heart disease, cancer (cancer cells feed off sugar), stroke and low self-esteem (which can contribute to depression). Simply put, the #1 killer in America today isn't heart disease or cancer; it's obesity!

For me, the weight-loss didn't happen overnight. Even when I was over-weight, I was still ripping off runs of 4-5 miles but eating the wrong foods (like KFC, mashed potatoes, too much red meat, cookies, etc.) and smoking a few cigarettes a day. Not until we changed our diet did the weight finally start coming off, allowing me to amp up my running and eventually focus on a dream I had since I was 17 or 18--finishing a marathon. This experience tells me that changing your diet is the single-most important thing you can do to bring weight-loss. Here are seven tips:

1. Eat whole grains. This includes whole-wheat pasta, whole-grain bread, brown rice, whole-grain cereals (preferably oat meal, but not the instant kind) and sweet potatoes. The grainy texture of these products may seem strange at first, but give them a shot and stick with it for a while. I'm now a big fan of flour-less bread, such as Ezekiel, that instead has whole grains. Whole-wheat and whole-grain products help prevent your blood sugar from skyrocketing like it would as a result of simple sugars. It takes a lot longer for the sugars in whole-grain products to be broken down, and so the release into the bloodstream is slower. Skyrocketing blood sugar, as is the case with simple sugars such white rice, white potatoes and really bad stuff like pop, is very bad for your weight and health. An added benefit of whole-grain foods is better digestive function. I really like Hodgson Mill whole-grain products and am a huge fan of Safeway's whole-grain organic pasta line. Uncle Ben's makes great brown rice; buy the kind that takes 30 minutes to cook. With oat meal, avoid the instant kind since it's loaded with sugar and instead buy the kind you cook on the stove top. Quaker's 1-minute oats are great!
2. Consume lean proteins and avoid red meat and pork. Lean proteins include everything from nuts, poultry and fish to skim milk and yogurt.
3. If possible and if resources allow, consume organic products and avoid meat and poultry from animals that were fed corn products. Cows are not supposed to eat corn, and yet that's a big part of their diet these days since corn-feed is so abundant and cheap. Cows were intended to graze in fields. Avoid red meat from cows that were fed corn (which is 99% of the meat at your local supermarket) as these cows just aren't as healthy, lean and happy as grass-fed cows. The same goes for poultry and, believe it or not, farm-raised fish. I'm a huge fan of free-range chicken, grass-fed beef (in strict moderation, as in once a month), wild-caught fish and cage-free eggs. You will probably need to buy these products at a higher-end grocer like Whole Foods, Fresh Market or, here in Denver, Sprout's (or, better yet, the farmer's market)...but it's worth it. The added cost of meats may ultimately cause you to eat less of them--a good thing--and cook more vegetarian meals (another good thing).
4. Focus on fruits and veges. I love salads with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. I pretty much have given up all store-bought salad dressings since they're loaded with garbage. My favorite veges are broccoli, spinach and and red peppers. My favorite fruits would have to be fresh pineapple (wonderful anti-inflammatory qualities), apples, honey dew and bananas. I eat an apple a day.
5. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. You can curtail your appetite significantly by just drinking lots of water.
6. At all costs, avoid refined sugars, fast food, processed "foods" and anything with high-fructose corn syrup. Popular refined sugars include white rice, white pasta, white bread (basically any bread that's not 100% whole wheat or 100% whole grain), white potatoes, soda pop, candy, and desserts. High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is, in my opinion, the #1 worst thing you can eat with the possible exception of trans fat-laced foods (which usually also have HFCS). Science is now starting to show the critical danger of HFCS. A chemicalized product that is cheap, HFCS is super-sweet, makes you feel nasty and has secretly replaced good, old-fashioned sugar in literally thousands of products on the grovery store shelf. It makes us fat! HFCS is used in everything from mainstream mayonnaise, sauces, ketchup and dressings to cereals, cookies and pop. You can buy all of those things and more without HFCS--you're just going to have to pay more. If you rid yourself of products with HFCS, you will be amazed how much better you'll feel.
7. If you do nothing else, never, ever drink calories, especially soda pop which is laced with high-fructose corn syrup. Avoid sugary coffee drinks like mochas and lattes, pops (which are laced with HFCS), "fruit" juices, and sweet tea. If you love sweet tea, use Spenda instead of sugar. Try diet juices and diet pop, although pop in all forms should be avoided. I admit that I am a big fan of Crystal Lite, which contains the ever-controversial phenylalanine. At the end of the day, water reigns supreme.

Click here for more details. Exercise takes it all to the next level. Do it gradually and set realistic goals. Before I ran my first marathon (2004 Columbus, 3:22), I paid my dues, finishing a few 5Ks and a 20K and being an active member of a running club where I learned the ropes.

Then if you become a marathoner, as I did when I hit about 180 pounds in 2004, the weight really comes off. I didn't turn to marathoniong for weight-loss. I love running and it's only by good fortune that my passion is also a great way to get and stay healthy. Since 2004, I've shed about 12 more pounds and am holding steady at 168 pounds (around 165 if I'm really in good shape and primed for a big race).

Here's some off-the-charts motivation for you!



You can do it! Just do it. Now!

More at Ben Does Life.

Post-Leadville soul-searching

In the days following the Leadville Trail 100, I've found myself in a soul-searching state, trying to answer many questions tumbling around in my head:

1) What went wrong at Leadville?
2) What's next?
3) What does the future hold?
4) Will I ever learn and stop making the same mistakes over and over again?

Couldn't have earned the big buckle without this little guy, or without the love and support of Anne.

What went wrong at Leadville?
A lot went wrong at Leadville. Some problems were my fault, while others really were a result of inexperience in the Colorado high country. First and foremost, a reality check: I FINISHED ONE OF THE HARDEST 100-MILERS IN THE NATION...AND WITHIN 25 HOURS FOR THE CHERISHED EL PLATO GRANDE BELT BUCKLE. NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE THIS BUCKLE! Now for the part where I'm hard on myself: I bombed with my race-day diet. I didn't recognize that running a 100-mile race at 10,000+ feet required a unique diet. I had no real Leadville-specific dietary game plan going into the 100--mainly because I didn't know that being that high up for that long would wreak havoc on my appetite and digestive "rhythms." I simply didn't want to eat during the race. It took a lot of willpower to eat noodle soup (read: Ramen) and at no point did I partake in the usual aid station fare such PB&J quarters, bean burritos, etc. save a chip and some orange slices here and there. Most of the time I just subsisted on PowerBar gels, GU Chomps, Gatorade, and water, along with Endurolytes. I'm sure I wasn't getting the requisite 250+ calories/hour. Which greatly contributed to the nasty situation at the mile-86.5 Mayqueen aid station and the very disappointing 24:47/92nd-place finish.

Assuming I return to Leadville next year, my race-day diet will have to be different. I'm looking into Hammer Perpetuem as a real possibility for fueling my next Leadville 100. Perpetuem gives you about 270 calories and 54 grams of carbs per 21-24-ounce bottle. This would ideally fuel every hour on the hour. I could even look into reducing the calories from Pepetuem to 150-200 per bottle and use solids (PB&Js, etc.) to get to that needed 250-270 calories/hour. I haven't used Pepetuem much (read: at all). I will definitely explore the possibilities of this product as I prepare for the 2011 Leadville 100 and experiment with other foods that work for long runs. Please let me know if you have any recommendations for race-day fuel.

I'm hard on myself for my time, but the fact remains that only 99 of a field of 720+ starters earned the buckle. I'm sure glad I was one of them!

Another huge mistake I made was not taking advantage of Leadville's muling rule. I carried my Camelbak when my pacer could have carried it him/herself, relieving me of added weight. My fear of turning over my Camelbak was that I'd forget to drink and fall behind with my hydration. That's a legitmate concern, but of greater concern is the added weight of the pack.

What next?
As my former comrades in Cleveland knew, I was dialed into the 2010 Boston Marathon, determined to set a new marathon PR and go sub-2:50 in Beantown. My training started in December and was progressing quite well despite a black cloud of stress, anxiety and uncertainty hanging over the Hornsby homestead. By mid-February, our house was up for sale as we were in the midst of pulling up the roots and moving to Denver. Well, Boston never happened since the Denver move took place in April and a whole host of priorities (starting a new job, getting settled into our temporary apartment, paying a mortgage on a vacant house, etc.) took hold.

So here I am, having not run a marathon in over 15 months. It's hard to believe, but the last time I toed the line of a marathon was Cleveland in May 2009. I finished in 2:59, hardly in marathon shape as I was training for the Mohican 100. The last time I really focused on the marathon was Columbus in October 2008--a disappointing 2:59 (I guess I've been stuck in a 2:59 rut...).

It's time to re-focus on the marathon and try to set a new PR. Hopefully that PR will come at the 2011 Boston Marathon. Alas, I'm not qualified for Boston since my last marathon is out of the qualifying window. So, assuming I get my left foot in decent shape, I'll likely enter the Rock 'n Roll Denver Marathon (Oct. 17) with a goal of BQ'ing even if that means a 3:15. My legs are still shot from Leadville, and so a 3:15 may be the smartest move. But at least I will have qualified for Boston and can then focus this winter on preparing for a new PR in Beantown in 2011. Living at this elevation, there's no reason to expect anything less than a new PR at Boston.

What does the future hold?
Leadville was so humbling. My feelings are quite mixed. I'm proud of the fact that I finished "The Race Across the Sky" and earned the sub-25-hour belt buckle, but there's no question that I underachieved and my approach to the entire race was quite faulty. So I don't know what my future as an ultrarunner out West holds. One thing I do know is that I'm going to stay with the sport because I love going long, I love the mountains and I love the ultra experience. Maybe at some point I'll see improvement and get to the level where I want to be. I don't pretend to be a leading contender in a race like Leadville, but I would like to be a consistent top-25 finisher and feel satisfied with my performance.

Will I ever learn and stop making the same mistakes over and over again?
Overtraining continues to plague me. Putting in high mileage with quality is a good thing. But putting in high mileage week after week, with no rest periods, breaks you down, makes quality all the harder to achieve and ultimately leads to diminishing returns. We saw this in my Leadville 100 result, but also in my sub-par performances at the Leadville Marathon (7/3) and Barr Trail Mountain Race (7/18). Either I need to hire a coach or I need to exercise discipline with my mileage to ensure that I'm getting the rest I need, but I can't continue on this mileage-obsessed course or else I'm going to find myself injured all the time (as I am now with this plantar fasciitis). Cross-training (swimming, mountain biking, etc.) is also a key part of the equation.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I'm not super-talented, and so why should I take all of this so seriously? Well, I love running and, as with basically everything else in life, I want to reach my potential--whatever potential that might be. You know when you've fallen short of your potential, and that's how I feel about the Leadville 100. I do take heart in the fact that many runners suffer during their first Leadville, falling short, only to return the next year and do much, much better. Maybe that'll be my story.

As always, your reader feedback is encouraged and welcome!

***

"Boogie Nights" is one of my all-time favorite films, as are many PT Anderson productions. I thought it was maybe the greatest cast ever assembled...seriously. Burt Reynolds is brilliant as Jack Horner. This is a classic scene from "Boogie Nights" in which Dirk Diggler (played by Mark Wahlberg back when he was doing sertious films) and crew are in a drug deal gone bad. If you've never seen "Boogie Nights," what's stopping you?

Who is that fat guy? / Training week 11/24-11/31

Last week I wrote about my weight problem before Anne and I changed our diet in 2003 and I took up long-distance running in the spring of 2004. The photo below, taken in 2000 only a month after I wrapped up a 6-month tour of duty as communications director for a U.S. congressional campaign in Indiana, perfectly illustrates what a poor diet, lack of exercise, long commute and stressful job had done to me (unless you've worked on a campaign as a full-time staffer, you could never fully appreciate what that life and its 80+ hour weeks do to you):



In case you can’t find me, that’s yours truly in the back row to the far left--the fat guy holding the beer bottle. I’m now 52 pounds lighter--from a hefty 220 pound to 168 pounds (I weighed myself on Friday). Oddly, even at 220 I could still run pretty well--up to 5 miles without much of a problem. People who haven’t seen me since the weight loss don’t even recognize me. Sharing this photo is pretty embarrassing, actually.

While running has certainly helped shed the pounds, diet has played the biggest role. When I took up long-distance running in the spring of 2003, I had gotten down to about 185 pounds, having lost 35 pound through responsible, sustainable changes to our diet and moderate exercise. The remaining weight came off as I made even more changes to my diet while my mileage increased with every new challenge I took on (e.g., 100 milers).

I write this not to toot my own horn, but to show that losing weight and keeping it off are possible! There are so many people out there who are unhappy with their weight and yet don’t know how to lose the excess pounds and keep them off. They feel helpless. I know there’s a way to do it because I’ve done it. My good friend and trusted pacer, Kenny, has done it too. Many others have done it. It doesn’t take running 100 miles a week. It just takes diet changes and moderate exercise.

With that said, I’ll now get off my soapbox.

***

The name of the game this past week (11/24-11/31) was continuing to run conservatively while my hamstring heals. I wound up with 74.8 miles. Although I haven’t felt any pain in the muscle in a few weeks, I know from first-hand experience that hamstring injuries take time to heal. Before re-injuring my leg a few weeks ago, I thought I was in the clear, when in fact I wasn’t. I think the key to lifelong running is applying lessons learned and not making the same mistakes twice. That’s why I’m not going to stress my hamstring for the time being, save the occasional surge here or there to see how I’m feeling.

Here’s how the week went:

Monday
Off/rested

Tuesday
AM: 8 miles at 7:28 pace

Wednesday
AM: 8 miles at 7:32 pace

Thursday
AM: 12 miles at 7:41 pace in and around Chagrin Falls
Jeff U. and I met at South Chagrin Reservation at 7:30 a.m. for a trail run. But the trails in South Chagrin weren’t the best and so we headed back to our cars and switched into road shoes. We then headed into Chagrin Falls and ran the Blossom Time course, heading back to South Chagrin for a total of 12 miles. I then went home, where we began cooking a delicious Thanksgiving dinner, complete with southern-style cornbread dressing (of the whole-wheat variety).
PM: 4.25 miles at 8:00 pace on my treadmill
Total miles for day: 16.25

Friday
AM: 9.1 miles at 7:30 pace
PM: 4.3 miles at 7:42 pace on my treadmill
Total miles for day: 13.4

Saturday
AM: 13 miles with the Southeast Running Club in South Chagrin Reservation
I ran the first 7 miles with Tim C. and John K., and finished off with Tim. The trails were snowy but, unlike Thursday, very runnable.

Sunday
AM: 16.05 miles in Solon with the Southeast Running Club
Fighting a nasty head cold, I struggled through these 16 miles and felt very achy the last 4 or 5 miles. Afterward, I joined the club at the bagel shop for breakfast and banter, and was on my way home by 10:45 feeling pretty bad. By the time I got home, I had the chills and a nasty stomach ache. I spent most of the rest of the day on the sofa, reading, watching TV and hanging out with Anne and Noah. When I wasn’t sprawled out on the sofa, I was expending what little energy I had left re-caulking our shower, painting a book shelf and finishing my laundry. No matter how bad I feel, I just can’t stay do nothing all day.

Total miles for week: 74.8
Total miles for month: 313.91
Total miles for year: 3,635.17

Short of a very high-mileage December, the odds of reaching 4,000 miles for the year are now pretty slim. With no race on my schedule until March of 2009, there’s just need to run 90-100 miles a week right now, and so 4,000 miles is going to have to wait for another year. That said, if a lot of time opens up toward the end of the month--like around the week of Christmas and New Year's--and if the weather is ideal, maybe I'll make a run at 4,000.

My goal for this week (12/1-12/8) is 70+ miles, and I may incorporate a short tempo run on Friday to see how the leg is feeeling.

Onward and upward!