Not sure what the deal was this morning but I hated every step of what was intended to be a 17-miler. I just wasn't into it and so I decided to pull the plug and ended with a paltry 10.7 miles, feeling sorry for myself. The fact that none of the trails are runnable right now (they're mosh pits from the snow melting) isn't helping.
Over brunch, I told my wife I just didn't know what happened during my run this morning and I also told her I have been struggling with a lack of motivation all winter. I'll feel motivated the night before to run but then when I wake up...not so much.
I am sure some work-related stress I've been carrying around hasn't helped. It's not "bad" stress per se. We just have some gigantic projects on the horizon and, oh yeah, we're a short-staffed in a few key areas and trying to get those open positions hired. Being in charge of it all, it's hard for me not to feel stressed and--dare I say--anxious at times. The fact is that I do deal with occasional bouts of anxiety but that is because I'm one of those people who feels highly accountable and is driven to achieve big results.
So this morning, after brunch, I felt content that I was in fact burned out and needed to take a few weeks off to recharge.
And then the afternoon came and the sun was out and I decided--what the hell--to go for another run. 6.7 miles and enjoyed--no, loved--every step of it.
So maybe this morning my problem was just that I was feeling off. Maybe it's screwing with me that in the morning it's dark as hell and cold as Siberia (not really). Maybe I'm suffering from seasonal effect disorder and just need more sun. The good news is that it's February and in Colorado in February the sun starts coming out big time.
So 17.4 mores on the day (not bad) and 60.2 miles on the week (not bad, either).
Still no races on the calendar this spring/summer/fall except North Fork 50K. I may upgrade to the 50-miler but we'll see.