Thursday, January 14, 2016

10 Trends in Ultrarunning That I Hope Go Away in 2016 (Including the Eruption Over "Dale's Picks")

Some of this is tongue-in-cheek and some of this is sincere. I'll let you, the reader, decide what's serious and what's meant as fun. I'm sure some folks are going to get all twisted up over a few items listed below so let the hate mail begin. Without further delay, here are 10 trends I hope go away, or mostly go away, in 2016.

10) The beard. Every time we go up to the mountains to ski or whatever, all of the hipster dudes can be seen prancing around with their beards. Oh, how cool. Aren't you an original. Me? I still go with the Sonny Crockett five 'o clock shadow look now and then just because I can get lazy with a razor on weekends. Do you even know who Sonny Crockett is? Which brings me to....

9) Hipsters as ultrarunners, or maybe ultrarunners as hipsters. Please become original. Three-quarters of the music you listen to you don't even like. Admit it.

8) Selfie-sticks in ultras. Look, I have nothing against a selfie-stick, even though I'd never buy one. The problem is with selfie-sticks in ultras. They present runner safety issues and have no place on an ultra course or a race course of any kind.

7) Athlete ambassadors. It's one thing if you're an "elite" hawking products you use and like. Otherwise, please do not act like a sponsored athlete. I was once an athlete ambassador for Hammer Nutrition and I felt cool...for about five minutes. I even wore my douchey red Hammer shirt at a few races. Then one day I woke up, realized I was just an average runner, and asked myself, "why am I doing this crap for Hammer when all I get is a token discount and I could just as easily buy from whoever I damn please?"

6) The ridiculous argument that ultrarunning is anything other than very grassroots and a weekend/recreational gig for most of us. That is to say, it is not a "sport." Ultrarunning is for most of us a lifestyle and, to some extent, a very intense hobby.

5) IPA. (Full disclosure: I like IPA and just put this here to get people riled up. Actually, my favorite beer is Avalanche but I tend to drink more wine than beer.)

4) Public sniping and internet mobs. Between "Gordygate," "Lancegate" and the newest controversy to rock the ultrarunning world to its core, "Dale's Picks," the sniping has gotten way out of control. Rather than take to Facebook or a listserv to start an internet mob, how about write a private letter or e-mail to the party that has offended you? Better yet, call them if you have their number. And, please, no nasty websites about people whose views you don't like--yes, this is happening.

3) Bacon. It's horrible for you. I hate bacon.

2) Growth and too many damned people. Most of the time, growth is good, especially when it involves my 401K. But ultra has reached a point where growth is far-outstripping demand. We need for things to slow down a bit so everyone can catch their collective breath. This includes races that have been forced into lotteries because of crushing demand.

1) Whining. Enjoy the gift instead of whining about your ill-fitting race tee-shirt, the lack of vegan or gluten-free options at aid stations, the fact that you didn't get into the lottery, etc. (Seriously, I have never known a single poor person who was allergic to gluten. Everyone I know who's allergic to gluten lives in Boulder and shops at Whole Foods). Quit whining and just run.

Bonus:  The backlash against carbs. Not all carbs are bad.

Chime in with any other trends you'd like to see go away in 2016!

25 comments:

  1. Who is Dale and what does he pick? Seriously... I just don't pay attention anymore to ultra stuff I guess.

    Great list Wyatt! :) I needed the laugh today.

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    1. Andy: This relates to a (fake) controversy that's playing out on the Hardrock message board. An Internet mobster posted something inflammatory and got everyone's panties in a wad because of his childishness.

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    2. Spot on man. I am guilty of the beard but at least it is not the ridiculous out of control ultra beard.

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    3. I think a lot of the great stuff is what comes with growth #2 (including this blog) and all the resources now easily available out there. I think it's odd that anyone would want to stop others from running far and diggin' ultrarunning. Maybe there's a way that it can be done a little more gracefully though?

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  2. Amen to #7!

    F*@k you to #5 and #3!

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  3. Nice man! The beard is a bummer too as I lover to rock beards . Used to be loggers and Special Forces guys. Now it is hipsters and guys that couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag.

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  4. Agree with you on most points Wyatt but Bacon and Beer I cannot accept being on this list ha ha :-)

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  5. I'm angry about list of things that people are angry about!!!

    :-)

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    1. How about an ambassador for a bacon flavored IPA from Red Pant Brewing?

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  7. DUDE, you nailed it with #7. I am sick of companies using runners as cheap ways to promote their products. Altra is a sponsor of every major race and uses the hell out of "Ambassadors" to promote their products, but they are the same crappy quality shoes even if Ian Sharman wears them.

    And, I totally object about Bacon. Bacon is in fact not bad for you, unless you buy it from a low quality source like King Soopers. But that's true of most food.

    I with we could slow down the growth. Their is a chance I am shutout of all qualifiers this year -- they are filling SO FAST. Oh well, it is what it is....

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    1. AJ: I actually like bacon, though I eat it sparingly. I am more and more trying to focus on plants. Always remember: What goes up must come down. Ultra will come down in popularity. The big question is if it's peaked yet or if the peak is yet to come. I have seen contradictory data on this. But demand will come back down but definitely not to what it was 15-20 years ago, when you could register on the morning of the race.

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  8. Dude, calling out bacon was a serious low blow. Oh yeah, and beards too. Not cool.

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  9. This is bad@&% lol...a lot of people take things way too serious so it's nice to see a little ranting/busting

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  10. Haha, fun read! Totally agree with Internet mobbing. Too many ppl willing to gather 2% of the information and with it go to FB and start calling for others livelihood.

    You forgot the part where the ambassador changes there job description to professional athlete though ;)

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  11. Your shit is on point except:
    A. I'm IPA'd out
    B. Bacon is more gooder.

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  12. Your shit is on point except I'm IPA'd out and bacon is still more gooder.

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  13. Couldn't agree more about the Ambassador comment. I was one for a new running company for about 18 months (longer than I'd care to admit). The longer I was an ambassador the less I could stand some of my peers. Man alive! How many, "got my shoe deal", "I'm sponsored by", "I'm awesome with my endorsement" type posts can people make.

    It donned on me that I didn't want people to have the same perception of me that I had of these cats. I blew up in the private forum, called a few peeps out, and surrendered my ambassadorship.

    Yep! Weekend warriors, much like myself, justifying their manhood by their ambassadorships. Can't take it anymore lol!

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  14. There are TONS of good ultras out there, most of which never fill up. And on courses much more beautiful than those that are capped out. Exceptions of course to places like Hardrock which are unrivaled in vibe and scenery. Ultras cannot simultaneously be a fringe sport but have demand far outstripping supply. The percentage of ultras who max out is actually quite small compared to the total available.

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  15. With regard to the "elite" ambassadors, you forgot about the hashtags. God. damned. hashtags.

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  16. How bout we do away with Lists in general? Im for that.

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  17. Hey, I could totally fight my way out of a wet paper bag. At least as long as it was very wet and previously heals my whole foods bacon. But still. (Parenthetically, my beard grew 0.0013 inches while reading this blog)

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