10 Trends in Ultrarunning That I Hope Go Away in 2016 (Including the Eruption Over "Dale's Picks")

Some of this is tongue-in-cheek and some of this is sincere. I'll let you, the reader, decide what's serious and what's meant as fun. I'm sure some folks are going to get all twisted up over a few items listed below so let the hate mail begin. Without further delay, here are 10 trends I hope go away, or mostly go away, in 2016.

10) The beard. Every time we go up to the mountains to ski or whatever, all of the hipster dudes can be seen prancing around with their beards. Oh, how cool. Aren't you an original. Me? I still go with the Sonny Crockett five 'o clock shadow look now and then just because I can get lazy with a razor on weekends. Do you even know who Sonny Crockett is? Which brings me to....

9) Hipsters as ultrarunners, or maybe ultrarunners as hipsters. Please become original. Three-quarters of the music you listen to you don't even like. Admit it.

8) Selfie-sticks in ultras. Look, I have nothing against a selfie-stick, even though I'd never buy one. The problem is with selfie-sticks in ultras. They present runner safety issues and have no place on an ultra course or a race course of any kind.

7) Athlete ambassadors. It's one thing if you're an "elite" hawking products you use and like. Otherwise, please do not act like a sponsored athlete. I was once an athlete ambassador for Hammer Nutrition and I felt cool...for about five minutes. I even wore my douchey red Hammer shirt at a few races. Then one day I woke up, realized I was just an average runner, and asked myself, "why am I doing this crap for Hammer when all I get is a token discount and I could just as easily buy from whoever I damn please?"

6) The ridiculous argument that ultrarunning is anything other than very grassroots and a weekend/recreational gig for most of us. That is to say, it is not a "sport." Ultrarunning is for most of us a lifestyle and, to some extent, a very intense hobby.

5) IPA. (Full disclosure: I like IPA and just put this here to get people riled up. Actually, my favorite beer is Avalanche but I tend to drink more wine than beer.)

4) Public sniping and internet mobs. Between "Gordygate," "Lancegate" and the newest controversy to rock the ultrarunning world to its core, "Dale's Picks," the sniping has gotten way out of control. Rather than take to Facebook or a listserv to start an internet mob, how about write a private letter or e-mail to the party that has offended you? Better yet, call them if you have their number. And, please, no nasty websites about people whose views you don't like--yes, this is happening.

3) Bacon. It's horrible for you. I hate bacon.

2) Growth and too many damned people. Most of the time, growth is good, especially when it involves my 401K. But ultra has reached a point where growth is far-outstripping demand. We need for things to slow down a bit so everyone can catch their collective breath. This includes races that have been forced into lotteries because of crushing demand.

1) Whining. Enjoy the gift instead of whining about your ill-fitting race tee-shirt, the lack of vegan or gluten-free options at aid stations, the fact that you didn't get into the lottery, etc. (Seriously, I have never known a single poor person who was allergic to gluten. Everyone I know who's allergic to gluten lives in Boulder and shops at Whole Foods). Quit whining and just run.

Bonus:  The backlash against carbs. Not all carbs are bad.

Chime in with any other trends you'd like to see go away in 2016!