Aging

I am going to admit that I'm struggling with aging. I have friends who seem to be aging like a fine wine and yet here I am really struggling with it.

A few weeks ago, I ran a 19:07 5K--the first time in a LONG time I have not broken 19 minutes in a 5K. Admittedly, my 5K was run in Atlanta and it was super humid that day. Plus, the course had some rollers to it. But I always break 19 minutes and it wasn't that long ago that I was consistently breaking 18 minutes. Now here I am running 19 and change, barely able to hold sub sub-6-minute miles. It's hard to deal with...even though in that 5K a few weeks ago I was top Master's Runner and finished 3rd overall and walked away with a nice medal. Three or four years ago, it would have been an outright win as the winner, who was a teenager, ran mid-18 (which is slow for a 5K winner).

I definitely think I can break 19 again. I've restarted hill repeats and tempo runs--gotta use it or lose it as you age, as they say.

And then there is the Burning River 100 on July 27...... Ten years ago, I would have been thinking about winning or podiuming this race (I was always very ambitious and sometimes it paid off). In my head, I still feel like those are realistic--and yet in actuality they are not. Some guy who runs 100+ miles a week and is 28 year-old will win. I will be in the mid-pack. I am 45 and slowing down. In 2009, one of my closest friends, Tim Clement, won Burning River at age 47. I am not Tim. If I break 24 hours at Burning River this year, I will be thrilled.

My biggest regret in life is working too hard in a "real job" and being too responsible when I was in my 20s. Knowing what I know now, how I wish I'd gotten into ultrarunning when I was 24 or 25. When you are that young and training hard, it is amazing what the body will give you. Even at ages 35 or 36, my body gave me so much. It almost never failed me and it responded so well to the training load.

Jim Walmsley is on another planet as far as talent but, when I watch him run, I see the beauty of youth. Jim is 29 and he runs like a gazelle over distances of 50 or 100 miles. It is incredible to watch.

So I am struggling with aging. It's not easy. Oh, it has its benefits. I'm so much wiser than I was...more wise in life than on the run. When I see a "young person" making a mistake, I want to help them and usually I can if they are receptive to it. But I have not (yet) reached the point as a runner where I can use my wisdom and experience to compensate for my physical decline. Which is a nice way of saying I'm a bit of a head case at current.

I hope my ability to use my life experience in positive ways on the run comes. Right now, I'm in transition. Mentally, I still feel like a fast young buck. I need to accept what is happening and leverage my experience as a runner and recognize that experience has pluses to it just as fresh, young legs have pluses to them. I feel that experience can be leveraged to compensate for aging, to an extent, but I have yet to figure that out.

I am excited about Burning River and overall my training is going well. Come Memorial Day weekend, I'll have a little more time to train, giving me about 6 solid weeks to hit it hard and get ready.