I DNF'd at Winfield, which is the halfway point of the race. Coming into Twin Lakes (mile 39.5), I felt some pain in my left knee, but I wasn't too worried. The pain, however, intensified as I was descending Hope Pass on the southside. By the time I entered Winfield, I'd already made my mind up that it was over. To my family's shock, I had one of the volunteers cut my wrist band. I was very fortunate to have Diana Finkel, multiple-times women's winner at the Hardrock 100, there to counsel me through my decision. She was very supportive and my respect for her is even higher now than it was before.
To say it was an agonizing decision would be an understatement. My pacer, Scott Schrader, had driven up to Leadville to help ME finish this race. My parents and Anne and Noah were up there to support ME. I had so much support--so many people behind me--and so to DNF really cut deep. This was my first DNF ever. It hurts like hell--it's the worst mental hurt I've felt in a long, long time. It's going to take a long time to get over my disappointment.
I'm pretty sure what I have is a case of runner's knee. Structurally, my knee seems to be okay, but on descents the pain is very bad and I have very little strength in my left leg as a result. I guess you could say the course won yesterday. But I do think, having gotten the opinion of others, that the very aggressive deep-tissue massage I got the Monday before the race played a big factor in the issues I experienced during the race. Getting such a hard massage was a mistake.
I'm going to think hard about my future as an ultrarunner. Ultrarunning will always be part of my life, but yesterday I felt like my body came apart on me. Not only was my left knee a major issue, but I fought wicked leg cramps going up Hope Pass. I was just having a bad day, and my knee ultimately was the greater decider as to whether I continued or dropped. But, then again, I just didn't have a lot of fight in me at Winfield. I didn't ask to have my knee taped. With 50 gueling miles still in front of me, I was unwilling to see if I could somehow battle through the very bad pain in my knee. If I had just 20 miles to go, I'd have gutted it out, as I always do. Time-wise, I was doing pretty well--I entered Winfield in about 9:30 (9:15 last year but, with the new trail connecting Hope Pass and Winfield, the course is now longer and harder).
I am thinking about focusing on shorter races in 2013 (and by shorter I mean marathons, which are long to most normal people) and seeing if I can finally get a new marathon PR. I'm sure I'll come back to 100s, but at this point it's hard to imagine doing that in 2013. Sometimes you just need a break. For me, I think a year off from 100s will do wonders for my body...and mind. I've been going pretty hard for six years, and have fought some pretty good battles in that time. At some point damage accrues, and you're left with few other options than just healing. That's where I am now.
You're still an inspiration to me, Wyatt...and apparently human. Good luck with the marathons!
ReplyDeleteTo the anonymous commenter whose post I deleted:
ReplyDeleteThanks to the wonders of IP addresses and the ability to know the real identity of those who hide behind anonymity on the web, I know who you are and it doesn't surprise me at all that you'd stop by and throw bombs on a bad day for me. As a general rule, I don't allow anonymous posts on here, especially from those who spew hate.
Thanks,
Wyatt
DNF's suck..but sometimes you just have to take it. The good thing is there are always more races to run (whatever distance you choose). So don't dwell long on the DNF too long.
ReplyDeleteHey Wyatt, it's always just a race. Take care of the knee and see you on the trails again soon.
ReplyDeleteSmart athletes know the difference between their levels of pain. Why continue a race injured and become injured further and jeopardize future race opportunities? You are inspiring. Good job Wyatt!
ReplyDeleteHey Wyatt,
ReplyDeleteI've loved your blog, and learned a ton about Leadville from your writing. I was really excited for your race this year (I ran also) and am truly sorry to hear about your knee. Glad you had the guts to make a probable smart but difficult decision. Heal up, and I'll be coming back to hear all about your marathoning this year.
Cheers,
Mitch
Just remember that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
ReplyDeleteWyatt,
ReplyDeleteI ran this weekend as well - it was my first LT100, and 1st 100.
Your information and postings were vital to my planning and training and for that I am incredibly appreciative!
Don't sweat over the DNF - everyone's bound to have an off day every once and a while. Keep the info coming and I look forward to seeing you out there and reading about your adventures in the future!
See you out there,
Jason
Sorry about the DNF, it's best to just leave it in the past and learn from it, like you are doing. It's true that marathons are still long for most people, and sometimes it's a good way to keep the training fresh. Do a couple 26.2's and come back strong. Thanks for the Leadville insights.
ReplyDeleteWyatt -
ReplyDeleteI was looking for you inbound as I headed outbound toward Winfield, I knew something was up when I didn't see you (since I knew your rough time goals). This must have been a difficult decision; I know how much this race means to you. Take some time to evaluate what you want and let the disappointment fade. But, I could see why you would take a break from running 100s -- they take a huge emotional and physical toll. Good luck!
AJ
Sorry to hear about your DNF. Your blog was helpful to me this year also as I made my first Leadville attempt, so thank you for all the effort you put into it. You're a super talented runner, so I hope you get healthy and bounce back soon.
ReplyDeleteDitto Brett: just remember that the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
ReplyDeleteWyatt ... one.step.at.a.time. Plenty of life to live, in and out of 100s. Live it larger.
Been following the blog for a while and I can tell you love ultra's, which I why I keep reading. Hard to imagine you taking a break. Its one bad race, and from what I've seen it happens to the best of em. Hang tough, heal well, and remember many of us have mad respect for having the balls to go for such a huge race!!
ReplyDeleteI know those days are bound to hit everyone, though I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier to swallow. Hoping your body cooperates and you can get back at it soon. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteWyatt, I enjoy your blog very much and like your input on things that I and I'm sure many others can relate to. I'm sure your disappointed, but it's only your first DNF. Your still an inspiration to many. It's all good, looking forward to more stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteRodney
You're mental toughness and grit is part what makes you so awesome so I understand your disappointment...BUT it's probably only the seasoned pro like you who would be smart enough to know when to say when and see the "bigger picture". You're an inspiration and warrior and will fight another day.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support, everyone. This has been tough to accept. I think the very aggressive deep-tissue massage I got the Monday before the race totally messed up my legs. I have no other explanation for the muscle problems I had, which I have to think were related to my knee injury (strained muscles=joint pain over the long haul). It's been a painful learning experience.
ReplyDeleteWyatt
Hi wyatt ,I just found your blog for the first time as I sit here in LAX awaiting a flight back to Australia,I undertook Leadville 103 this year :) ,my first 100 and my first DNF at mile 88 with hypothermia and altitude sickness.however making it from twin lakes to winfield and back was a small victory in this race.Leadville kicked my ass and humbled me big time.i am glad I found your blog and will endeavour to learn as much as possible for my return to Leadville.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Ian
Agree with Tim and GZ, again. Make sure it stays fun. The training and experience is still a big part of the fun. Disappointment is a necessary cost of putting it all on the line, but ultimately these things can't loom as large in the big picture of family and the fact that you're healthy enough to run big miles in great places with great people nearly every day of the year. If you do take a year off, the race would surely love to have your experience pacing, and I think you'll enjoy seeing that side of the race. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSorry to read this. Everyone has a DNF every now and then. This was yours. It's out of the way now - so you can face forward and look forward to all those lovely new runs that are going to be great successes! Wishing you all the best for the future! Sarah
ReplyDeletewyatt - it was great meeting u outside the silver dollar last week. ur blog played a big part for me getting my first buckle on sunday. sometimes we need to shut it down and hit the reset button. take ur time and look fwd to seeing you out again on the trail.
ReplyDeleteWhen you spend enough time at the limits of human ability, you will visit failure occasionally, its going to happen and it only means you are legitimately challenging yourself to do things that are not certain to succeed. Thats why we do these things right ? If they were guaranteed success ultra would be far less compelling. I DNF'd my first 100, after more than 80 ultra's and 15 100's, and it was devastating as you say. I've DNF'd one race since then and while it was also disappointing, it was not as bad as the first time. I run 100's now knowing that a DNF is formally possible, although unlikely, and that if I do DNF there will still be many more that I complete the race and do well. Most people only dare to do things that they know they cannot fail. Running 100's is one of the only things in life I do where I cannot control the outcome. So I have transitioned from a DNF being a life-changing crisis, to not fearing it. Its all part of a continuum of life and death, success and failure and you have placed yourself smack in the bullseye by attempting these things.
ReplyDeleteChris Garcia